Parenting is hard.. no matter your childs age
You are doing the best you can, but you feel like it’s not enough.. You feel guilty when you set limits, and resentful if you don’t, and the space between your parenting style and that of your partners (or your family’s expectations) feels miles apart.
Most of the time, they emotional burden of the parenting load tends to fall on one parent, which can feel exhausting and lonely, while causing tension in the home with the one person who is supposed to be exclusively on your team. So often I hear one parent tell the other, “if you just parented more like me, then thing’s would be easier,” but that’s not as straightforward as it sounds.
I don’t believe any one of us are parenting the “right” way. We’re really all doing the best we can, and we all have our own unique childhood experiences that impact the parenting style that comes naturally to us.
We can't parent our kids the same way we were parented..
that world doesn't exist anymore.
The childhood that you grew up in is a completely different world than the one you’re raising your kids in today. I’m guessing it involved much less, if any, social media, snapchat, facebook, instagram, or tiktok, and you likely had no ability to see every time that your friends were hanging out without you. Because of this, there was just automatically less academic and social pressure. And since you didn’t have access to the news at your finger tips making you aware of every school shooting and every catastrophic event that was happening in the world, not to mention a global pandemic, one you had to figure out to how to parent through!
All of this technology makes being a kid/teen today so incredibly hard, and it also makes parenting hard. You had babies during a time where there were SO many different ways to parent your child, and endless options and opinions to listen to. You could google developmental milestones every step of the way, and constantly compare your child’s functioning, growth, and achievements to everyone else’s as you swipe through your own social media.
You are in the first generation of parents trying to figure out how to parent through this..
You don’t have to do it alone. We don’t have a parenting program or 8-week course with a “satisfaction guarantee” (though, if that’s what you’re looking for we can absolutely offer you referrals.) Instead, our parenting support focuses on both you as the parent, and you as the individual. The following are some things you can expect:
- Goal-setting for you and your kid(s) based on your current concerns
- Concrete strategies to help you problem-solve hard situations at home
- Guidance in regards to anything undiagnosed or diagnosed that may be impacting your child, or you!
- Education when needed (ie: what behaviors are developmentally appropriate for your child’s age vs. problem behaviors with long-term consequences)
- Resources like books, podcasts, social media accounts, and any other materials that can increase your understanding of what we are working on and provide continued support while you’re not in our office
- Insight into your own childhood and how it influences your relationship to parenting
- A safe space to process just how hard parenting can b
We can't just rely on instinct.. Parenting should feel intentional.
Our instincts tend to be based on our own upbringing, whether we’re parenting exactly how our parents did (raise your hand if you’ve ever said, “BECAUSE I SAID SO!” to your kids) or you’re doing the exact opposite to avoid their mistakes, we are likely parenting out of instinct. When we can lean into being more intentional in our day-to-day parenting not only do we start to feel better, but so do our kids. And I find most times it actually feels like less work when our role is more clearly defined.
Therapy can help bridge the gap between your own childhood
and the one you hope to give your children,
no matter how old they are.
