How to be More Mindful on Social Media

Shortly after my last post about how to help your child successfully manage screen time, I came across another therapist’s blog that I felt really put my screen usage into perspective! 

Sometimes, it’s not just about decreasing time spent on social media, and more about increasing our awareness of what’s going on for us during our time spent online. 

Julia Colangelo, LCSW is a therapist for high-achieving women in the New York area (she also has experience working with children and families, which makes her content right up my alley!) and her insight in her latest blog on how women can get caught up by their social media speaks to me, and it speaks LOUD.

“We all participate in these systems, but something I like to consider is that as participants, we have choice and power.”

As much as our children and teens are struggling to manage their screen time, we often fall into the same trap. There are so many benefits to social media and the great connections it can bring, as Julia puts it, “We’re curious about others, we get new ideas of what to cook, how to style our wardrobes, we share about our lives, learn how to exercise, and most of all we can easily support and encourage one another by clicking that pretty little heart.” Sounds wonderful, right? Unfortunately, the benefits can also come hand-in-hand with a string of posts from our “friends” that can be shame-inducing causing us to make negative comparisons or begin mindless liking and double tapping that doesn’t make us feel much better.

Julia suggested a few simple steps that can help you increase YOUR mindfulness on social media, which can help you lead by example with your teen who’s always nose deep in the instagram feeds.

• Before you press that pretty little heart, think about what you’re liking. Do you really like it? Are you just pressing the button automatically? 
• If you’ve decided you’re going to like something, take a breath. Notice that you are mindfully engaging with Instagram and praise yourself for being intentional in your use of this platform.
• When you see something you don’t like, be aware of what comes up for you. Is it the color of the image? Is it the message? Do you find yourself comparing your body, brains, or lifestyle to the image? NOTICE what comes up for you before doing anything else.
• THEN, consider what it would feel like to unfollow or remove the posts that don’t keep it real enough for you or you find triggering for whatever reason. No need to apologize or make an excuse. Instagram is made to serve YOU in a way that meets YOUR interests and needs.
• Lastly, take action. 

I’ve taken Julia’s advice and spent a couple of days this past week increasing my mindfulness on social media, Instagram specifically. What I found; it was HARD. Stopping myself before liking to really consider how much I actually like it was more difficult than I thought it would be. I didn’t realize how quickly I’d double tap to the point that I found myself liking posts that I hadn’t even READ completely, just because I liked the person who posted this. WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ME? I am using instagram to serve others, not myself, and to maintain connections that may not be entirely authentic.

Another thing I gained from Julia’s 5 steps was being more aware of what comes up when I dislike a post. For me, mostly, I was comparing myself/my lifestyle to others and having all of those negative self-talk moments that I work to help others notice and eliminate. It was refreshing to practice a little more of what I preach by being more mindful in such a relevant area.

In the end, I decluttered my Instragram a bit, freed myself from following those who don’t reflect my “authentic” self, followed more positive and encouraging Instagram accounts (Julia Colangelo’s included, IG: @therapyfortoday), and I actually spent LESS overall time on social media as a whole just by being a little more mindful on one!

Visit Julia’s blog to read more