‘Why Tweens & Teens Benefit from Therapy Before Heading Back to School’ By Julia Colangelo, LCSW
It’s summertime when everyone’s schedules get a bit mixed up for two months, only to settle back into a routine for a 9-10 month stretch during the academic year. For the last decade, I’ve worked with parents and families who reflected that the summer chaos made committing to therapy and appointments nearly impossible. Believe me, we get it as therapists. We understand schedules are more consistent once the school year starts. Nonetheless, it might make sense to book that session before the first week of school depending on what’s happening with your teen or tween.
Here are some ways to consider whether you may want to have your teen or tween speak to a therapist before September to make sure they start the school year off right:
1. They are fighting summer blues
- They don’t necessarily seem depressed, but they also aren’t their cheery self that you’re used to seeing.
2. They have more excuses for things you come up with
- You keep telling them to make plans or “go out and meet friends” and they make up any excuse. Some are valid that friends are away on vacation or that it’s too hot to do anything, but you don’t know why they really aren’t being as social as they once used to be, when they were 8 year old’s who wouldn’t get out of the pool until dusk.
3. They are on technology what feels like hours a day
- This is one sign that their conception of the world is now on their phones or social media, or worse yet, being lived through OTHER people on social media. If they are comparing themselves to celebrities, they are slowly pulling away from living their own lives. This can impact their self-esteem and confidence especially during a transition time like starting a new school year.
4. Their eating patterns are off
- Maybe they are sleeping past breakfast so everyday feels like it’s a brunch/lunch meal followed by ice-cream and dinner. They are eating enough, but it’s not as regularly.
5. They don’t want to leave the house
- Again heat and not having friends around can cause anyone to want to stay inside. However, for a developing brain and body, avoiding being out even if it’s to accompany you on errands or an activity together is a sign that your child may need to speak to someone.
6. They are dreading going back to school
- When you offer to take them back-to-school shopping, they say things like “Ugh…I don’t want summer to be over…I didn’t do anything this summer.”
First, you can say that ahead of school it might be good to check-in with someone about how to make this upcoming year their best one yet. If they give you that look (you know that look!) then consider keeping it real with them: This is not about you (meaning the parent) but it’s about their current and future wellbeing. As a parent, you understand the value of having outside opinions and considerations and tweens and teens also deserve a space to express themselves and explore anything else that is going on.
From one parent (and therapist for mothers and parents) to YOU.. The takeaway is that seeking support can be a game changer.
You suggest speaking to an expert, and land in Jenna’s office. Jenna will work with your child/teen and give them the space to express themselves where confidentiality applies (yes that means as a parent you need to let go of some control- believe me you’ll be in good hands with Jenna). At such delicate ages, daughters need a village of support. Having a professional in the role of a therapist can equip your child with tools that will help them thrive in middle school, high school, college, and beyond as they launch into young adulthood.
Good luck, happy summer, and happy back-to-school!
Julia Colangelo, LCSW
Julia Colangelo, LCSW is a therapist, coach, consultant, and educator for stressed women and mothers. Additionally, Julia teaches mindfulness at Columbia University and supervises in her private practice. Wearing both the hats of parent and professional, Julia fuses her insights, education, and experience to support women worldwide. Julia’s next launch will focus on living with certainty in Fall 2019. Contact her at julia.c.lcsw@gmail.com or www.juliacolangelo.com.
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