Thank U, Next: July Edition

I have an entire shelf at home dedicated to those journals filled with prompts thought-provoking questions. We can learn so much about ourselves by reflecting on our past. When we reflect we’re helping our brain categorize and synthesize all the data and information it’s being filled with daily. We’re allowing our mind the opportunity to recategorize things given how our perspective has changed overtime. We’re giving our brain the permission to take credit over our past accomplishments and ways we’ve changed and grown. It also helps us to recall that information more quickly when, say, we’re not feeling so accomplished and when we’re faced with a similar situation. Have I convinced you of the power of reflection yet, or shall I keep going?

I want to start a reflection series, where, at the beginning of each month I’ll dedicate a blog post to the month I’m leaving behind and plan ahead about the month we’re entering, and I challenge you to do the same. My blog is packed with tips on anxiety, parenting strategies, social skills, and then some, but I think we learn best by learning together. I hope that something I say resonates with you, and I hope you share your responses with me as well. Lisa Olivera (@lisaoliveratherapy) posted a list of July Reflections with such incredible questions that I figured I’d start my monthly series by reflecting on some of the questions below.

Join me, why don’t ya! 

1. What brought me ease this month & how can I feel ease in August?

One of my best friends invited me to go to on a mini-vacation to Galena, IL (pictured above). Given that I’m still building up my caseload at work and didn’t want to cancel on clients I had the urge to say ‘no’ and rattle off all of my worries and all my to-do’s. After typing out my “I’m so sorry, I can’t” text, I deleted it and gave a, “YES, when!?” I’m so glad that I did. 

I can feel ease in August by honoring the work I’ve already put in, even if I’m not where I want to be yet. 

2. What brought me challenge and how can i care for myself in august? 

Ever since I’ve started marketing my business I’ve struggled with knowing when to turn the phone off, shut the computer down, put the phone on DND, and give myself a break. I don’t have set hours and my business isn’t where I want it to be yet, which made me feel like I don’t deserve a break. 

I can care for myself in August by scheduling in more breaks, and “unplugging” more consistently. 

3. How did i support + nourished myself in july?

I supported and nourished myself in July by making more time to read. I LOVE READING, especially books by other therapists and psychologists. Reading and learning fuels me, but it’s also one of the first things I’ll tell myself I don’t have time for when I’m feeling overwhelmed. This month, I read.. and read, and read.

4. What did i learn the most and how will i carry that with me? 

Just because I can understand someone’s behavior, doesn’t mean it’s okay. 

This one hit me hard this month. Typically, when someone’s actions have hurt me or pushed a boundary of mine I come up with a million reasons as to WHY they had to do what they did and what they went through/might be going through that led to it. Then, I talk myself out of holding my boundaries with them or expressing my feelings because I feel bad for them. I mistake my ‘feeling bad’ as having compassion and empathy, when really it’s more of an excuse to avoid conflict. 

I will carry this with me by reminding myself that my feelings & needs are important, too, regardless of whether or not I understand. 

Want to share? Feel free to pick one question from Lisa’s list
above and share it in the comments.