Signs Your Child Might Have Anxiety

Anxiety comes in many different forms and it shows itself differently as we age. The younger your child is the more physical symptoms you might notice them having and the more snuggles or hugs they say they need to make them feel better. As your child gets older anxiety can start mimicking what we think of as “typical teen” attitude/behavior (isolating from family, less interested in school, etc.) and can be dismissed or confused with depression. 

According to a post about anxiety on a mental health blog all about children, “Most of us tend to withdraw or isolate ourselves when things get stressful. It helps us deal with the things that make us uncomfortable. In order to develop into healthy, functioning adults, children must learn to face with challenges that are uncomfortable.  If instead they withdraw due to anxiety, it can stunt their emotional, psychological, social and academic growth, with life-long impacts.” {Click here to read more about how to help an anxious child by Michele Brown on the one in five minds blog!}

Below, I’ve posted over a dozen signs that your child might be struggling with anxiety:

1. Physical symptoms (stomach aches, headaches, trouble breathing, sweaty palms, shaking, etc.)
2. Needing more reassurance than usual (One client I had would ask their mom every morning if she was going to pick her up from school on time. The mom always answered yes, but the impact of her response began to hold less and less weight, which led to more reassurance seeking questions and leads to point number 3…)
3. Increased separation anxiety and needing more assistance/attention during daily tasks that are age appropriate.
4. Future worrying (if they’re worrying about things that aren’t in the immediate future, whether that be weeks, months or years down the road, such as worrying about failing a test at ten years old because it means they “won’t get into college.”
5. Seeking out more negative attention (having more attitude or starting more arguments at home. When a child has anxiety they want to get rid of the feelings that build up in their body, which all gets dumped out when they start fighting with you! It gets out all the yucky feelings quickly and you unintentionally take those feelings on instead. They can end up seeking this out even if it means getting in trouble or feeling badly afterwards)
6. Fear about things they once were able to overcome (going to school in the morning, attending practice for a sport they’ve been in for years, attending birthday parties, etc.)
7. Overreaction when plans change. For example, you might want to make a quick stop at the grocery store, but you decide against it because you want to avoid upsetting them.
8. Grades slipping, even if just slightly, this could be a sign that they’re anxiety is taking over and they’re having trouble focusing because of it!
9. Avoiding school
10. Frequent trips to the nurses office at school OR multiple texts to you while they’re at school
11. Perfectionist behavior (spending an hour or more on homework that shouldn’t take more than 30 minutes, obsessing over a project that’s not due till the end of the month)
12. Needing ‘transitional objects’ (they’re taking toys from home to school with them or throwing a fit if they forgot their toy car at the house while you’re out running errands with them)
13. Oversleeping (including napping during the day) or struggling to fall asleep at night.

You are doing the best you can at helping them navigate these symptoms. They want your help, but they need help to learn how to manage it on their own. A therapist can help to provide your child with the tools and coping skills to decrease their anxiety, build their confidence, and provide you & your family the support you need.

If any of this rings true for you and your child, you can read further on the tweens (for 8-12 year olds) and teens tab at the top of this page!